Forty years ago, nerd-shaming was easy. You could readily recognize the unkempt losers by their pocket protectors, horn-rimmed glasses held together by tape, skinny statures, and buck teeth. Right?

“Of course…” knowing adults would say, with a twinkle in their eyes, “one day, that nerd will be your boss!”

There and then, though, bullying them out of their lunch money in order to impress the cute cheerleader was all in good fun! They could surely take a joke, after all.

Nowadays, on the other hand, it’s much harder to discern between nerds, normal people who like nerdy things, and out-and-out weirdos. So I’ve compiled a handy-dandy “nerd scale” to set you on the right path. So, from least nerdy to extreme nerddom, consider the following list of activities that your friends and acquaintances may be delving into, so you can better judge their overall level of “nerdiness” — and the amount of prejudice you should afford them.

The Nerd Scale

1. Genre media consumer: Does your nerd watch movies like Lord of the Rings, The Avengers, or Star Wars? The good news is that he or she can still be mostly normal and live fulfilling, productive lives, even so! You can hang out with these nerds and not worry too much about your social standing.
2. Casual gamer: You probably know someone who constantly bugs you to play some Facebook game with them, or who spends a lot of time on “Candy Crush Saga” or “Farmville” (if anybody still plays that). These nerds, while relatively harmless, can fall down the slippery slope to further nerdiness, if not careful.
3. “Hardcore” gamer: Now we’re in trouble. Experts agree that it’s somewhat difficult to tease out the differences between casual and “hardcore” video games. Generally speaking, though, “hardcore” games are more expensive, have higher graphical fidelity, and tend to release on consoles or PCs rather than mobile platforms. Games like Assassin’s Creed and Halo fall into this category. Specific distinctions that people from either “side” suggest are mostly rhetoric, but don’t tell that to these nerds! They may be unstable, and besides, everyone knows that violent video games cause machine gun deaths!
4. MMO gamer: These folks are yet another grade down the scale. If you thought the violent, unkempt hoards of “hardcore” gamers were bad, take a look at these! As a rule, massively multiplayer online gamers spend eight to 16 hours a day running around in a virtual Skinner box, performing the same move combos over and over again, hoping to “grind” the best possible “loot.” Whatever you do, do not rely on these nerds to care for your animals while you’re away, especially if it coincides with one of their “raids!”
5. Tabletop role-player: Long inflicted with terrible and just stigmas, these nerds lurk in basements and roll strangely shaped dice while pretending to be mythical beings and laser-wielding dinosaurs. Truly the very icon of nerd-dom, these gamers have the cheek to defy the bounds of carefully constructed software programming and limit themselves only to their imaginations! And we all know how dangerous imaginations are. Best to leave well enough alone. If you smell one of these nerds, run! Find a frat party or men’s clothier as soon as possible!
6. Cosplayers: What’s worse than pretending to be an elf in your basement? Dressing up as one and parading about a convention hall! While some of these nerds may seem merely to be attractive people dressed in skimpy clothing, beware! They are fully engaged in playing their persona and do not enjoy your awkward attempts at flirting!
7. LARPers: Short for Live Action Role-Players, LARPers are the nerds who dress up in costume and then go around playing games in the woods, beating on each other with foam-covered sticks and shouting “10 Magic! 10 Magic! 10 Magic!” like inebriated cultists. Rather than simply rolling dice or hitting buttons to play out their fantasies of slaying evil creatures and performing heroic deeds, these nerds band together, take the field, and engage in physical combat in their pursuit of glory and excitement. Fortunately, LARPers tend to keep their insanity to themselves and rarely wander through supermarkets in costume.
8. Furries: The very, very bottom of the barrel, these nerds dress up as and pretend to be animals, rather than just other people or elves or minotaurs. Even if we ignore the significant portion of this demographic who are in it for the sex fetishes, these nerds are trying to connect with their inner natures and instincts by trying to see from the perspective of other species of animals! As we all know, no other cultures or societies have ever done anything similar to that! And the sensible, Victorian-era folks knew that it’s always best to completely repress any desires we may have to break free of rigid societal rules and follow our animalistic emotional impulses. That’s always worked out for the best, for everyone!

So, there you have it. I hope this guide helps you to come to grips with harsh reality. Now you can better arm yourself with knowledge that will allow you to more accurately and efficiently deride the nerds in your life, and heaven forfend if you yourself happen to fall somewhere on this scale, you can eagerly point at those below you and know, in your heart of hearts, that you are a better person than they are.