Happy 80th birthday, Ms. Steinem

On this day in 1934, a baby named Gloria entered the world. No one could have imagined the profound impact this future advocate would have on women’s rights in her lifetime. Steinem is often called the mother of feminism, and it’s not hard to see why.

First, a bit of history; there are three distinct waves of feminism. The first wave of feminism took place in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. During this period, activists like Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Lucretia Mott were focused not only on the property and voting rights of women but also on the abolition of slavery. Through their hard work, they reformed existing social standards and were successful in getting women the right to vote.

The second wave of feminism began in the 1960s and runs congruently with third-wave feminism to the present. While first-wave feminism focused on suffrage and changing existing sexist laws, second-wave feminism broadened the discussion to empower women in their sexuality, families, reproductive rights, and workplaces. Steinem is one of the most prominent women to emerge from this wave of feminism.

Third-wave feminism is a bit trickier to define. The term was coined in the 1990s as a backlash against the failings of second-wave feminism, mainly that the second wave was a movement created by upper-middle-class white women and didn’t account for the opinions and cultures of women from more diverse backgrounds. Steinem, considered a second-wave feminist, nonetheless addressed many third-wave concerns as well, working with many civil rights activists including Coretta Scott King and Cesar Chavez.

I consider myself a third-wave feminist and would even argue that we are actually headed for a fourth wave of feminism. A fourth wave would broaden the discussion of women’s equality to a global scale.

All of this is well and good, but if it weren’t for the work of Ms. Steinem, I wouldn’t be having this discussion at all today. Before she was a political activist, Steinem was a journalist. One of her most famous pieces was written for Show magazine. Steinem was employed as a Playboy Bunny at the New York Playboy Club. The article “A Bunny’s Tale,” published in 1963, shed light on the exploitative treatment of the Bunnies and the legal murky sexual demands that were made of them. After her work on the piece, Steinem had a hard time finding writing jobs, a failing that Steinem attributes to her time as a Bunny.

In 1968, she landed a job with the newly created New York magazine. After her time with New York, Steinem co-founded one of the first feminist-focused magazines, Ms. The magazine was shocking for the 1970s because, at that time, most publications for women focused on child rearing, cooking and cleaning tips, keeping a satisfied husband, and proper makeup application. Instead, Ms. concentrated (and still concentrates) on women’s reproductive rights, politics, and social activism.

When the Ms. preview debuted, the syndicated columnist James J. Kilpatrick jeered that it was “C-sharp on an untuned piano,” a note “of petulance, bitchiness, or nervous fingernails screeching across a blackboard.” After hitting the newsstands for the first issue, network news anchor and 60 Minutes creator Harry Reasoner said he would “give it six months before they run out of things to say.” Ms. is still in publication today and the magazine can boast the best coverage of global women’s rights and politics.

In addition to her work in journalism, Steinem was an ardent political voice for many different issues, including reproductive rights, the Equal Rights Amendment, opposition to the Vietnam War, and LGBT equality.

Because of Steinem’s work, I get to write a blog every week about how far we’ve come in feminism. I can discuss pop culture things like Oscars fashion and professional wrestling. Because of her work, I can talk about politics and government and my place in them. Most importantly, because of her (and women like her), I have the courage to tell you stories about discrimination when they happen to me.

It’s fitting that Ms. Steinem’s birthday falls in March. March is Women’s History Month, and our history would be much different if Gloria Steinem hadn’t taken the path she did. Truthfully, I’m excited to see where the movement will take us in another 52 years, when I’ll be nearing my 80th birthday. In the meantime, I’ll just have to live by Gloria’s sage wisdom: “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

What I’m Pouring: March 25, 2014

2011 Argiano Non Confunditur “NC” Rosso Toscano (Tuscany): Full bodied, blackberry, black cherry, licorice, mineral. Powerful, long finish, well integrated tannins. Wow! $18 A

2012 Indiginous Selections Barbera del Monferatto (Piedmont): Medium bodied, easy drinking, cranberry, raspberry, plum, hints of earth and tobacco, long finish, delicious. $13 A-

2011 Shannon Ridge Barbera “TerreÂ Vermielle Vineyard” (Lake County): Cherry, raspberry, vanilla, pepper. $16 B

2011 Tait “The Ball Buster” (Barossa Valley): Fruit bomb with blueberry/blackberry, vanilla, licorice, smoke, and black pepper. Velvety with nice tannins. $16 A-

2012 The Gnome Knows Syrah (Languedoc): Blueberries and black cherries mixed with herbs, earth, licorice, and… band-aids? $9 B-

2010 d’Arenberg Footbolt Shiraz (McLaren Vale): Blackberries, black cherries, vanilla, spice, pepper. $16 B+

2011 Milou Rouge (Languedoc): Grenache/Syrah blend, medium bodied, earthy, dark berries, coffee, herbs. Not complex but great value. $13 A-

2011 Red Tail Ridge Pinot Noir (Finger Lakes): light bodied and elegant, cherries, cranberries, floral, hints of fall baking spices. $18 B+

2011 Penfolds Thomas Hyland Shiraz: Blackberry/blueberry, cedar, vanilla, a little earthy funk, but over-oaked and a little hot. $12 C+

HIMYM favorite episodes: ‘Best Burger in New York’

After nine seasons, the final episode of How I Met Your Mother airs in the United States on Monday, March 31. Curiata.com is reliving the series this week by looking back at our favorites of the 208 episodes.

One of the great things about How I Met Your Mother is how it can have a very Seinfeld-esque episode that’s seemingly about nothing at all but still manages to weave in little plot threads that tie it to the overall series. The fourth season’s “The Best Burger in New York” is one of those episodes.

“The Best Burger in New York” opens with Barney announcing that his company has just bought out Goliath National Bank and offering Marshall a job in its legal department. Through a brief series of flashbacks, we see that Marshall has not been very successful with his current job hunt, though his dream of becoming an environmental lawyer prevents him from accepting Barney’s offer.

Later, at MacLaren’s, Marshall tells the story of how he discovered the Best Burger in New York after moving to the city eight years ago. This sets up a mission for the friends to once again find this burger joint, which Marshall hasn’t been able to locate since.

The episode becomes a version of a Hero’s Quest, as Marshall is determined to succeed in finding this burger. Marshall’s journey around Manhattan to find the burger is inextricably linked to his unsuccessful job hunt. As Lily recounts the expansion of Marshall’s “underpants radius,” it becomes clear Marshall has been losing self-esteem the longer he goes without a job, and this burger is Marshall’s Holy Grail. Lily understands he needs to find the burger because he needs a win.

However, just as they finally locate the correct corner where the burger joint had been, the gang discovers it is now a Goliath National Bank ATM. The symbolism here is too much for Marshall: his youthful optimism, represented by the perfect burger he had as a 22-year-old aspiring environmental lawyer, has been buried by the corporate world. He reveals to Lily that he has taken a job with GNB.

Marshall is afraid that working in a corporate atmosphere will strangle his passion for environmental law and change who he is. However, the burger joint Marshall seeks hasn’t been shut down by the new ATM after all; it still exists and the burger is just as good as it ever was.

Of course, that twist, too, is symbolic. GNB is only a stepping stone for Marshall: he does ultimately land his dream job with an environmental firm. But this was a big moment of change for Marshall and, as usual, all his friends were there to support him. Even Barney is being supportive in his own way by trying to talk up all the better points of GNB to change Lily’s mind about the bank before she finds out Marshall has accepted the job.

One of the more random yet amusing aspects of this episode is the appearance of Regis Philbin, who has also been on the hunt for this specific burger joint ever since he ate there years ago. All throughout the episode, you see evidence of his search, as his signed photograph hangs in every restaurant Marshall has visited. This adds an additional layer of lighthearted humor to an episode with a much deeper theme.

Best line: “I think I just had my first burgasm.”

Best Cutaway: “Million Dollar Heads or Tails”

Mother Lore: None!

HIMYM favorite episodes: ‘Arrivederci, Fiero’

I have always loved the use of nonlinear storytelling in How I Met Your Mother. As the Ted Mosby of 2030 recounts to his kids (who now look like this and this) the epic saga of meeting his mother, he jumps around in time, remembering, forgetting, and obfuscating certain details. The second season episode “Arrivederci, Fiero” is a great showcase for this storytelling device. Even though the episode tells us nothing about The Mother, it works because of its focus on a particular theme and its revelation of complicated characters.

Marshall’s Pontiac Fiero is less than one mile away from the 200,000-mile mark when it stalls out. As the gang waits for a mechanic to assess the damage, they recount memories of their experiences with the vehicle. Along the way, we discover how Ted and Marshall became best friends, how Lily and Robin bonded over a shared secret, and how Barney (almost) learned to drive.

Each of these characters is shown to be multifaceted. Ted is an insufferable snob but is also fiercely loyal. Marshall is a goofy slob who also cares deeply about the proper use of “affect” and “effect.” Lily is usually the voice of reason but is undone by a particularly nasty pothole, forcing Robin to show her decisive, take-charge side.

And Barney, who always seems so self-possessed, is a totally different person when he gets behind the wheel. That is, hands down, the best scene in the episode. From his overly dramatic introduction to the story (“Why? Why!? WHY!? … WHY!!!???”), to his white-knuckled attempt to outrun an old woman on a mobility scooter, to his breathless relief as he rolls to a stop in front of a bush, Neil Patrick Harris nails this performance. (His final check in the mirror is flawless.) It’s a joy to see Josh Radnor, as Ted, delighting in Barney’s freak out — this is a real showcase for the chemistry between the two actors.

At its best, How I Met Your Mother allows us to see these characters as complex people who can’t be reduced to a single quirk or descriptor. By telling a story that spans decades, it gives us glimpses of who they used to be and who they are becoming.

In this episode, we also see Marshall coming to terms with his changing image of himself, from environmental activist to corporate sellout. Self-image is one of the ongoing themes of the show: Ted’s image of himself as a soon-to-be happily married man; Lily’s image of herself as a successful artist; Robin’s image of herself as an untethered, globetrotting reporter; Barney’s image of himself as legen- wait for it! -dary Casanova.

Throughout the series, dreams have changed and aspirations have evolved. In “Arrivederci, Fiero,” Marshall has to let go of something he thought defined him and struggle with the idea of redefining himself. That seems to be a microcosm of what How I Met Your Mother is trying to talk about as a series.

Best Line: “Is it cool if I still light these?”

Best Cutaway: “Hitchhiking Waldo”

Mother Lore: None!

A duty to fight shadows, refine self, lead others

“When you started, we didn’t think you’d keep training,” my sempai told me.

I asked him what he meant.

“We just didn’t think you’d make it. You didn’t seem cut out for it.”

When I began training in martial arts, I was a college sophomore. Academics had come fairly easy to me, and so I had never learned to work hard. Near-sighted and bespectacled, I had never been very physical.

Seventeen years later, I have no answer as to why I am still training. If pressed, I would say it is because it has never been easy. It forces me to struggle every day.

There are two characteristics that are essential to the pursuit of budo, or martial arts training: a bullheaded stubbornness, and nyunanshin. Nyunanshin, “pliable mind” or “malleable spirit,” allows a person to continue to force himself to change, to empty his cup each and every day. It forces the budoka never to cease the quest for self-improvement, to view his study not as a destination to be reached, but as a journey to be taken.

It is necessary to cultivate this flexible, malleable mind, lest it harden.

Jungian psychology deals extensively with the shadow-self, the aspects of our psyche of which we are unaware, that we suppress. According to Jung, we encounter the personifications of these shadow-selves in dreams and visions. Though the shadow is not uniformly negative, Jung did say that “the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” When we meet our shadow self, we meet a dark reflection of our own positive aspects, and we must choose: either continue to live in ignorance of the things that influence us, or confront the shadow.

Wrestling with the shadow illuminates parts of ourselves that we are ignorant of. The process is unpleasant and uncomfortable. Marie-Louise von Franz, who worked alongside Carl Jung, said in her work Process: “If and when an individual makes an attempt to see his shadow, he becomes aware of (and often ashamed of) those qualities and impulses he denies in himself but can plainly see in others — such things as egotism, mental laziness, and sloppiness; unreal fantasies, schemes, and plots; carelessness and cowardice; inordinate love of money and possessions.” It is, she continues, “…[a] painful and lengthy work of self-education.”

Joining a dojo is like becoming a member of a family; you inherit a teacher to guide you on the path and brothers and sisters who will support you, push you, challenge you. When you begin to lose your pliable mind, more senior students are there to set you back on the correct path. When it comes time to fight your shadows, they will stand beside you.

As one grows ever more senior, training becomes an ever more solitary effort. The work is something you must do on your own. You don’t spend as much time with those who are your seniors. It becomes easy to presume you are in the right, both in your training and your life.

Seniors are seen by their juniors as examples, models to follow. This is the challenge of all people in positions of teaching authority: those they teach will look to emulate them.

Despite the many portrayals of wise masters of martial arts in the media, the raw fact is that mastery of budo is exactly that: mastery of budo. Nothing more. There is no inherent morality to a proper sword cut. This lack of morality complicates the task of being a responsible senior, because it is inevitable that juniors will emulate their seniors’ behaviors, both for good and for ill. The onus, therefore, is on seniors to strive to be excellent examples in all areas of life.

There is a saying in my martial tradition: “My sensei didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” It was not until recently, when I found myself confronting a dark aspect of my own personality, that the ramifications of this saying became evident to me.

I owe a debt to the ryu to be the best example that I can be. This is how I honor those who have come before me and strengthen those who will carry on after I am gone. Over the years, I have observed my seniors, and my sensei, and seen that they are men of discipline in mind, body, and attitude. They are thoughtful men who speak only after deliberation and consideration.

When I look at myself, I find the difference between my reality and my aspiration is far greater than I had hoped. There are aspects of my own personality that I am unaware of, and that I must confront, understand, and acknowledge. I have become rigid in my thinking, and my nyuanshin needs to be strengthened.

Obviously, it is not wrong to support a belief or a position. Nor should one change his or her opinion simply to fit in. But it is dangerous to avoid looking into the “why” behind one’s beliefs and opinions. Ignorance of your motivations is a weakness, and a warrior cannot allow himself the luxury of deliberate ignorance of his own mind. The enemy we face most often is not external; it is ourselves that we must fight and overcome every day. It is through awareness of our dark side and willingness to confront it and change our actions that we prove to be worthy exemplars.

There is no excuse for leading those who look to you astray. They are the future, and we must be worthy of them.

I sat down today to capture moments in my training for posterity. Instead, I find a reminder of how far I still have to go before I am worthy of my ryu and of the respect of my fellow travelers along this difficult path that is budo. There is no excuse for my actions and no apology that will take back words already spoken. The only path forward is to own my choices, strive to be better, and leave these thoughts as a guide for those who follow after me.

The road is hard.

I sit in a quiet space, and do battle with my own shadows.

Travel to Italy for familiar, unfamiliar whites

More white wine, Bill? Yes, winos, more white!

It’s officially spring in the Northern Hemisphere, and that means it’s time to add whites (and rosés) to your cellar (or cupboard, or cardboard box you still haven’t moved from the living room). Italy has a long tradition of winemaking (and wine drinking), and though reds like Chianti usually gets most of the attention, interesting whites abound as well.

Pinot Grigio is probably the Italian white wine you’ve heard about most (or maybe the only one). This wine is commonly scorned by wine snobs for being “uninteresting” — and many are, but there are plenty that have something good to offer. This is actually the same grape as Pinot Gris, which has long been popular in Alsace, and has also become Oregon’s favorite white in recent years. Perhaps, some sneer at Pinot Grigio because of how unique and intense the spicy Pinot Gris from Alsace can be in comparison to the lighter, mellow Pinot Grigios. Ultimately, however, Pinot Grigio is much more widely available, mostly because of the volume advantage it has over Pinot Gris.

Here in the United States, Santa Margherita is the Pinot Grigio that many casual wine drinkers gravitate toward, and if you haven’t tried it before, you probably should. It has a fresh, clean citrus fruit character with good concentration. But after you’ve had one bottle, try something else! Expand your palate past the wine that you see the most in television commercials (like Santa Margherita). Is it pretty good? Yes. Great? No. They’ve done a fantastic job marketing it, driving up demand, and now it’s overpriced.

From Sicily, for example, the 2009 Antinori Pinot Grigio Santa Cristina has a bright, aromatic nose of apples and peaches, and a dry acidic palate of lemon, lime, passion fruit, and minerality. It’s a great value at only $12.

Vermentino is grown far less than Pinot Grigio but makes for a more interesting wine. The northern Italian regions of Liguria and Piedmont are where you will find it grown most, along with the islands of Sardinia and Corsica and, in recent years, in the Languedoc region of southern France. Usually light-bodied and very aromatic, Vermentino is normally floral on the nose with crisp lemony flavors on the pallet.

Cantine Lunae Colli di Luni “Lunae” is a fantastic Vermentino from Liguria, northwest of Tuscany along the coast. The 2009 has a really beautiful candied peach character on the nose, tossed with aromatic white flowers (but not perfumey) and honey. Fresh peach, apple, herbs, and citrusy wet granite make up a great acidic flavor profile.

Sella & Mosca “La Cala”, from the island of Sardinia, is less complex, but perhaps more refreshing, with its bone-dry citrus flavor profile, nice minerality, and long finish. There’s also an interesting salinity in this wine, probably due to the vineyards’ proximity to the Mediterranean Sea. This is a classic wine from a classic producer, and is popular in Sardinia as well as in the States.

Finally, I suggest trying Gavi wines. Named after the town of Gavi and made from the Cortese grape in the northern region of Piedmont (Piemonte in Italian), north of Liguria, Gavi is known for being a fantastic pairing with fresh seafood. Gavi is sometimes labeled Cortese di Gavi or, if grown right near the town of Gavi, it might be labeled Gavi di Gavi. The light-to-medium-bodied wines are very pale in color and often exhibit vibrant citrus fruit flavors. In the same way that Riesling is the dominant white wine grape in Germany, Cortese is the dominant white wine grape in the Piedmont (though it is vastly overshadowed by Barolo and Barbaresco, the big, powerful Piedmont reds). Gavis are legitimate contenders in the white wine world, but for whatever reason, they don’t get the exposure or appreciation they deserve.

On a bottle of Banfi’s Principessa Gavia Gavi, you’ll find the following legend (though the wine in that bottle is nothing great): Supposedly in the 6th century, Princess Gavia fell in love with a soldier who was guarding her. Her father, Clodomir, King of the Franks, forbade their marriage, so the lovers ran off to a remote village in what is now northern Italy. After enjoying the local white wine, the newlywed couple let it slip who they were and were taken back to the king. But when the king realized their true love for each other, he forgave them, blessed their marriage, and named both the village and its wine after the Princess — Gavi.

Whether you believe that or not, the Villa Sparina Gavi di Gavi is a great place to start. The nose is really pretty, with honeycomb, melon, and fresh-cut white flowers. On the palate, there’s a really great balance between acidity and creaminess, with flavors of apples and cantaloupe.

An even better offering is the Gavi di Gavi by Franco M. Martinetti. The nose has a great pineapple and coconut combination, along with some lime. The palate has some very concentrated flavors: pineapple, lemon/lime, honeydew, even watermelon, with a big finish. Both wines are worth the $16 to $19 price tag, and both are excellent paired with fresh seafood and shellfish dishes.

There is life beyond Chardonnay, white wine drinkers, and there are plenty more Italian white wine options beyond these three, but they’re a good place to start. Sniff, swirl, taste!

I know, you know … It’s hard to say good-bye

Good-byes are never easy. For fan*s, saying good-bye to a favorite television show can be especially difficult. You come to love these characters and then, suddenly, they’re gone. And not every canceled series gets a theatrical film like Serenity or Veronica Mars. More often, you will never be able to see your favorite characters starring in new material again.

Fan*s are used to heartbreak. We’ve survived the cancellation of Firefly, and we’re stronger than ever. That doesn’t make it any easier to say good-bye when a beloved character dies, or our favorite shows get canceled, or the creators decide it’s just time to end the run.

While this has been a good year for fan*s as far as shows returning from the dead — Veronica Mars opened in theaters last week, a new season of 24 will be starting in just a couple months, and NBC recently announced a revival of Heroes — we’ll also be saying good-bye to several long-running series.

We all know How I Met Your Mother will be ending its run in less than two weeks. After nine years of listening to Ted’s story, we’ll finally get to see how he met the mother. However, there are several other shows ending within the next month or so that also happen to be favorites of mine.

One of my favorite supernatural dramas, Being Human, originated in the United Kingdom and was followed by an American adaptation that premiered in the United States several years ago. The show follows a ghost, a werewolf, and a vampire trying to live together and have a normal life. The original BBC version ended its run last year, after a complete cast changeover. One of the original leads went off on a quest to the Lonely Mountain, and the other two leads left the series shortly after that. Syfy recently announced this season would be the last for the American adaptation, which, after a rocky first season, had found its legs and was able to develop a mythology independent of the original series.

Syfy has also announced the cancellation of Warehouse 13, which will commence its fifth and final season (of only six episodes) next month. Warehouse 13 follows U.S. Secret Service agents who seek out historical objects with often dangerous powers. Warehouse 13 and Being Human are among the last of a generation of original Syfy series that began with Eureka in 2006. The network has been adding more reality TV and imported Canadian series to its schedule and cutting back on their original scripted entertainment.

Side note: Keep an eye out for Australian import The Almighty Johnsons, which stars Dean O’Gorman from The Hobbit and should start airing on SyFy sometime in late 2014 or early 2015. It’s a great show about reincarnated Norse gods living in modern-day New Zealand.

However, my sadness over the departure of the series I’ve mentioned so far is nothing compared to how much I am going to miss the USA dramedy Psych. For the uninitiated, Psych is about two best friends who run a “psychic” detective agency, the catch being that Shawn Spencer isn’t a real psychic. He uses his eidetic memory and powers of deduction to solve cases in over-the-top and hilarious ways. His best friend and partner in the business, Burton “Gus” Guster, spends his days working for a pharmaceutical company and deals with Shawn’s shenanigans in his free time. The show stars James Roday as Shawn and DulÃ‡ Hill as Gus.

Shawn and Gus will be solving their last case this Wednesday with the Santa Barbara Police Department. While brainstorming ideas for this column, I thought of a lot of ways I could commemorate the end of Psych — a countdown of my favorite episodes, favorite guest stars, favorite nicknames Shawn gave Gus — but I had a really hard time restricting myself to one of those topics, or even being able to list my favorites — there’s just so much about this show to love.

Over the years, Shawn and Gus have solved a number of unusual cases. Some of my favorites included a mummy, dinosaur bones, a spelling bee, an American Idol-like music competition, and even the investigation of a sea lion’s murder. But some of Psych’s more bizarre cases — and their best episodes — are tributes to other pop culture icons.

“Tuesday the 17th” was not only an homage to Friday the 13th but slasher films in general. The episode was directed by Roday and remains one of my favorites to this day. “Dual Spires” was a tribute to cult favorite Twin Peaks and another one of the series’ greatest achievements. The episode guest stars many of the former Twin Peaks cast — Ray Wise, Sherilyn Fenn, Dana Ashbrook, and Sheryl Lee, among others — and follows the investigation of a body found on the lake shore of a quirky town. Just before Christmas, Psych debuted “Psych: The Musical,” a two-hour musical special complete with numerous returning guest stars and original songs.

Last season’s “100 Clues” was an homage to the 1985 film Clue, and also included three of that movie’s cast members, Martin Mull, Christopher Lloyd, and Lesley Ann Warren, along with a guest appearance by Curt Smith of the English new wave band Tears for Fears (not his first appearance on the show). The episode also allowed viewers to vote on the ending of the episode, choosing who they wanted to be the murderer. The U.S. East Coast and West Coast each chose its own ending.

Psych has had a lot of great guest stars over the years, beyond the Twin Peaks and Clue cast. Cybill Shepherd plays Shawn’s mom in several episodes, and Ernie Hudson and Phylicia Rashad have appeared multiple times as Gus’ parents. The original Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kristy Swanson, first made her appearance in an episode centered around vampires, and she currently recurs as Detective Carlton Lassiter’s wife. William Shatner has appeared several times as Detective Juliette O’Hara’s father. Other guest stars have included John Cena, Jane Lynch, Judd Nelson, Stacy Keibler, George Takei, Danny Glover, Tim Curry, Cary Elwes, Jaleel White, Ally Sheedy, and the list goes on.

I have been a fan of this series from day one. Some people may think it’s strange to get emotionally attached to a TV series, but let’s face it, fan*s do it all the time. Psych is one of those shows I could count on to cheer me up no matter how bad I was feeling at any given point in time. During the summer I spent working a job I hated, the silliness of Psych and Glee kept me going.

I struggled for a while with how to write this column. I knew I wanted to say good-bye to Psych, but it quickly became clear that I’m just not ready. Saying good-bye to a favorite TV show is like saying good-bye to a good friend: the truth is, we’ll never truly be ready to say good-bye for the last time. Fortunately, with shows like Psych, we’ll still have DVDs we can pop in the player to help us remember the good times. And, if we’re lucky, this won’t really be the last time we see Shawn and Gus.

Thank you, Psych, for introducing me to the delicious flavor of Quatro Quesos Dos Fritos, but most importantly, thank you for all the memories, the laughter, the tears, the tears from laughter — thank you for all the good times.

I’ll always think of you whenever I spot a pineapple.

Hitting ‘reset’ restores vital ties to nature

The Modern Urban Gentleman is taking the urban to the wild this weekend. In what has become an annual event, a gathering of close friends will head to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of cooking, discussing, hiking, laughing, drinking, and Shadows Over Camelot-ing. It is an event to look forward to because it breaks the monotony of so-called “normal life,” for sure, but time in the wilderness also answers a call from deeper in the gentleman’s constitution.

The occasional weekend spent in nature is a necessity for a modern urban gentleman. The day-to-day reality of life introduces so many layers of artifice between the gentleman and the Homo sapiens at his core. To strip away that artifice for 48 hours is a refreshing, rejuvenating experience, offering a chance for a reset of the body and mind.

The urbanization of man is a phenomenon no more than two centuries old. The pressures of the agricultural and industrial revolutions pushed people closer together for financial sustainability. The rise of cities has sparked incredible achievements in architecture, art, business, literature, and countless other fields of human endeavor. On top of that, the vibe that defines big-city living is like a drug for many, the Modern Urban Gentleman included. Nonetheless, the human species did not evolve to live in Manhattan or Beijing. And evolution proceeds at far too slow a speed to allow humanity to have adapted to the environmental stressors of modern life.

Consider the most basic unnatural stressor introduced by modern technology: the light bulb. No one alive today remembers a world before the light bulb, but it was only the parents of our oldest great grandparents who lived in that much different time. The gentleman’s body operates on a natural cycle, the circadian rhythm, that depends on the input of external stimuli, such as the sun. For 200,000 years, less the last two centuries, the human machine has been calibrated to maximize sunlight and darkness.

Today, gentlemen are awash in the glow of artificial light at all hours: the evening television, the bedside lamp, and the smartphone game lulling us to shallow and unfulfilling sleep. The constant onslaught of light cues the brain to stay awake, awake, awake, even as the body slips into unconsciousness. The scientific evidence for the damage caused by the disruption of the circadian rhythm by artificial light is strong. We awake tired, stressed, irritable, and begin the day anew with the same disruption of the natural order.

A weekend in a cabin, while not free of artificial light, does allow for a resetting of the circadian rhythm. The early morning rays of sunshine streaming through cabin windows infuse campers with the energy to rise and light the breakfast fire. The setting sun dissipates the excitement, and campers crowd around that same fire for a hearty dinner, shared tales of bygone days, and a s’mores-induced moribundity that sends bleary-eyed ladies and gentlemen to a sound sleep.

Consider, too, the noise pollution of everyday life. Even if a gentleman does not live in an urban center, with traffic slicing along rain-soaked roads and pedestrians shouting to one another as they make their way home from the local watering hole, artificial sounds from television and microwave ovens and beeping washing machines and whirring cell phones replace the sounds of nature. The simple four walls of the gentleman’s house conspire to block the naturally calming auditory flow of Earth: birds chirping, of course, but also the subtle crunching of leaves as deer nose in the underbrush several hundred yards away, a river laps against the shore in the valley a mile below, and the wind rustles the blooming branches of a tall oak tree.

One of the most peaceful experiences the Modern Urban Gentleman has ever had was on a camping trip two years ago, rising before dawn and sitting in the utter blackness, listening and watching. In daylight, nary an animal could be found, but in the stillness of predawn, the unbroken chorus of forest whispers uncovered the overwhelming richness of fauna. The gradual, imperceptible lightening of the sky over the course of 90 minutes, from black to pink-tinged blue, was nothing short of miraculous.

Let’s not overlook the element of camaraderie engendered by a weekend cabin getaway. Humans may not have evolved to live in cities of millions, but they did evolve to be social animals. A monthly happy hour or an annual fantasy football draft only does so much to feed cravings for a band of brothers and sisters. Spending two or three days in a pack, like our long-gone ancestors, has a peculiar and wonderful effect on the soul.

The list of damaging everyday contrivances the modern urban gentleman endures goes on and on: processed foods, a sedentary lifestyle, spiritual vacuousness, astronomical illiteracy … As laid out in the introduction to this column two months ago, the modern urban gentleman “respects the earth and understands his instinctual connection to and dependence upon it.” It is a step — a long, arduous, everyday step — in our journey of self-improvement to minimize the interference between what we are and how we actually live. One simple way to be reminded of that charge is to step back for just a few days and truly experience what it is to be human.

Currency of virginity could use some deflation

Last spring, I was plowing through my reading list, and I finally made time for The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti. I’ve always been a huge fan of Valenti’s work, from the time I was introduced to her Full Frontal Feminism during college. Valenti is the kind of writer that challenges me to see the world in a different way, and while I may not always agree with her 100 percent, she makes me a better person by providing a different lens through which to view the world.

In The Purity Myth, Valenti notes that there is no medical definition of virginity and, furthermore, a clinical definition of virginity can not possibly fit both genders. If the concept of virginity is tied to a specific physical act — vaginal intercourse — it creates an outsize burden on the female: the physical transformation of the act of intercourse is something a male can never experience. And a physical definition of virginity is irrelevant in same-sex relationships.

Virginity, and often times the lack thereof, is a concept that I have struggled with for a long time. As a society, we encourage young ladies to “hold on” to their virginity because it’s so precious. Moreover, any young woman who decides that she will not remain a virgin is often forced to bare the label “slut”.

I’m certainly not advocating that sex is something that should be taken lightly. It’s not. It can adversely affect your health and welfare if the proper precautions are not taken. I’ve advocated on this site for a calm and rational sexual education, which is good and important, but perhaps we need to be spending more time thinking about the mental health aspect of sex, specifically virginity.

The reality is that we live in a world where young girls are auctioning off their virginity to the highest bidder. This is because we, as a society, have delivered a message that virginity is valuable, that it’s a commodity in demand. I have to wonder how the world would change if we stopped thinking this way. What if, instead, we told young girls that, yes, sex is a big deal, but there is no value to the physical reality of an intact hymen.

I know that’s a pretty radical thought for today; it’s even a bit jarring to see it there in front of me in black and white. I think one of the reasons this concept is so frightening is because young girls use their virginity as a morality guide. It’s not difficult to see how removing virginity as a criterion for morality can lead down the path of a slippery slope argument, where all of the human race goes to hell because we will all get chlamydia and die.

I’ve stated before that feminism is about taking the path that you want to take. I certainly don’t mean to be advocating the position that everyone should be out there sexing it up. I have friends my age who still consider themselves virgins; they totally own that position, and it works for them. They adopt that Cher Horowitz ideal: “You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!”

All I’m asking is that we take away the pressure associated with remaining a virgin. Let’s turn the focus to empowering women to make informed decisions, to have healthy sexual relationships without stressing the virginity question. OK, and maybe I’m asking for a little bit more discussion with families and in the classroom regarding the mental health component of sex and, specifically, the first time any individual engages in sexual activity.

Most of the views I’ve mentioned above took a long time to cultivate and, honestly, they are still changing with every intellectual morsel I digest. That’s the wonderful thing about being human; we get to change our minds and evolve. I’m sure if my husband and I ever get around to cultivating tiny humans, my opinions on this matter may evolve again.

Céad míle fáilte: Five reasons I love the Irish

St. Patrick’s Day is quite possibly my favorite holiday — after Thanksgiving and Christmas, of course. I love everything about Ireland and the Irish. This year, I’m even more excited because, three months from today, I’ll be heading overseas as part of a two-week tour through Ireland, the United Kingdom, and France. I don’t usually go crazy on St. Patrick’s Day in the stereotypical American style, with drinking and partying, but I love Fanning Out and celebrating the holiday in my own way.

Every year on St. Patrick’s Day, my mother makes a tasty dish called Irish Coddle, which is a simple dish consisting of potatoes, bacon, sausage, and onion, all cooked together. I think it’s supposed to be a breakfast dish, but we eat it for dinner, and it’s amazing. If you’re interested, here’s a recipe very similar to the one my mom makes. Coddle may not be the healthiest dish you could eat, but it’s so good, especially when eaten with a loaf of Irish soda bread. We usually buy our soda bread from a store, but if you’re really ambitious, you can try making your own. Maybe next year I’ll make the attempt.

One year, I found a bottle of Bunratty Mead at the local liquor store. I had first drunk the mead at Bunratty Castle during my family’s first trip to Ireland in 2008. We attended a medieval feast in the castle, where the mead was produced. At Bunratty, the mead was fresh and tasted pretty good, but here in the States … not so much. However, it was still a fun way to celebrate and remember our time in Ireland. This year, we won’t be having any authentic Irish drinks — except perhaps a little Bailey’s in a cup of cocoa — but we will be making our own “shamrock shakes.” Who can resist minty-milkshake goodness?

After dinner on March 17, my family usually watches a movie, most likely Darby O’Gill and the Little People, which stars a young Sean Connery. The movie has been a favorite of mine since I was very young (back when the banshee at the end terrified me and gave me nightmares but still didn’t stop me from watching the movie repeatedly). Another option is The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. While in Ireland, we visited the town where most of the movie was filmed and saw several of the shooting locations; our tour guide even had our group act out some of the scenes from the film.

As you can see, Ireland holds a very special place in my heart and I enjoy celebrating all things Irish. Therefore, in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, I thought I’d share with you a few of my favorite things about Ireland:

5. Irish alcohol: I am a fan of Bailey’s Irish Cream. Who doesn’t love a little bit of Bailey’s poured into a cup of hot cocoa or coffee? My family and I were introduced to the drink during that 2008 trip to Ireland, and even my mother, who almost never drinks, now loves her cocoa and Bailey’s. Another stop we made while in Ireland was at the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin. In the bar at the top of the factory, we were all given a free pint of Guinness. I am not a beer fan, and Guinness was way too strong for me. My brother, however, loved it. He’s also become a fan of Jameson, the famous Irish whiskey.

4. Irish literature: Ireland has a very rich literary history. Many great classic authors come from Ireland: Jonathan Swift, Bram Stoker, James Joyce, Seamus Heaney, Oscar Wilde, and many more. Modern authors include Maeve Binchey, Colm Tóibín, Cecelia Ahern (author of PS, I Love You — read the book, which is way better than the movie, but have tissues on hand) and many, many more. My favorite modern Irish author (and one of my favorite authors period) is Tana French, whose work we reviewed in January. If you like tense, dramatic mysteries that really focus on character development, try reading one of her books — they’re brilliant.

3. Irish actors: I’m sure you girls out there would agree with me. Ireland has produced some great actors, such as Aidan Turner, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Colin O’Donoghue, Jamie Dornan, Colin Farrell, and Liam Neeson, and the list goes on. Not only do these guys have acting chops, but they are very good looking and the accent is absolutely to die for.

2. Irish music: I love a lot of the classic pub songs: “Whiskey in the Jar” and “The Irish Rover” are great. I also love how people always sing along to them in bars. There are also the “rebel songs,” which are written about the Irish desire for freedom from British rule. One of my favorite Irish songs ever is “Four Green Fields“. My favorite memory from my trip to Ireland is hearing my tour guide sing that song and the emotion in his voice as he sang it. Ireland also gave us U2, one of my favorite bands ever. Most of the members of the Irish-inspired band Flogging Molly are American, though lead singer Dave King was born in Dublin.

1. Ireland: I’m pretty much just in love with the country itself because, honestly, what’s not to love? Everything is beautiful and green, and the people are extremely welcoming and friendly. If you ever have a chance to visit the country, take it — you won’t regret it. I cannot wait to go back in three months; I only wish I could stay more than a few days.

Everyone has their own reasons for being Irish today. Regardless of yours, I hope you all have a great St. Patrick’s Day! I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Irish blessings:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

curiata

provoke your curiosity