almighty-johnsons

Don’t give up on TV during summer months

Earlier this week, I was talking with a friend about how full my DVR had become, and how many recording conflicts I had. That’s when I realized I watch nearly as much television during the summer as I do during the normal TV season. This may not seem like a surprise to everyone, but I can still remember a time when there wasn’t anything interesting on television over the summer. Summer was the time for playing outside or watching reruns, not catching up on last night’s new television.

I remember when this changed, during the summer between my junior and senior years of high school. That was the year Survivor premiered and changed the landscape of summer television. Suddenly, everyone was watching. When school started back up in the fall, that was all anyone talked about. I have never been a reality TV fan and, to date, have only watched two full seasons of Survivor, but even then it was clear that a cultural shift was taking place — not just in relation to reality TV. Survivor proved that people will watch original programming in the summer.

Fast-forward to the present day and there are a lot of shows that air only in the summer, with networks debuting more and more original summer programing each year. Not only are these shows popular, but some of them are actually quite good. This summer, there is a wide variety of original programming that is keeping my DVR busy.

For the most part, I like my summer shows to be like my summer reading lists: fun, clever, sometimes quirky, with a sense of humor — not too dark. I don’t hold standards as high for the shows I watch in the summer as I do throughout the rest of the year. I’m much more inclined to watch feel-good or guilty-pleasure TV in the summer. I just want to sit back and relax and enjoy what I’m watching, not get drawn into a complicated and dramatic plot that knots me up in suspense for an hour.

As far as television goes, it’s not really summer until the new season of Royal Pains airs on the USA Network. I’m a fan of a lot of USA’s original programming, but Royal Pains, to me, is the definition a good summer show. It’s bright and colorful with a great cast, and it rarely gets too serious. For those unfamiliar with the series, it’s about a doctor who sets up a concierge medical service in New York’s Hamptons. Sure, the plots are often superficial, but that’s what makes it a good summer show. When I’m at the beach, I’d much rather be reading Jen Lancaster than Anna Karenina, and the same goes for television.

Another USA show I look forward to each summer is Covert Affairs. Though the series has taken a little bit of a darker turn over the last couple seasons, it’s still one of my favorite shows to watch during the summer.

If you like the novels of Debbie Macomber and are a fan of Hallmark movies, then you may enjoy Cedar Cove, which makes its second-season debut Saturday night on the Hallmark Channel. The series is about a small-town judge and her community. The show stars Andie MacDowell and Dylan Neal, but you’ll likely recognize other members of the cast as well, especially if you’re an avid viewer of sci-fi television. There isn’t a lot of action — the show is basically a weekly hour-long Hallmark movie — but it has just the right amount of sappiness to be enjoyable, especially for a summer series.

If Norse mythology and fantasy are more your thing, you may want to check out The Almighty Johnsons, airing Friday nights on Syfy. The show is the story of the Norse gods, who have been reincarnated in New Zealand (where the show originally aired). The show has a lot of humor and adventure, and Hobbit fans may recognize Dean O’Gorman, who plays one of the Johnson brothers, Anders. I’ve already seen every episode of this series and I love it; I’m so excited it’s finally airing in the United States. The series just premiered Friday night, so there’s plenty of time to get caught up.

One of this year’s new offerings that I decided to give a chance to was NBC‘s The Night Shift, about the late-night workers in an emergency room in Texas. I am not a fan of medical dramas per se, but I am a big fan of Eoin Macken, one of the stars of The Night Shift. (Merlin fans may recognize him as Gwaine, one of the Knights of the Round Table.) The series drew me in almost immediately with its quirky humor and terrific cast. Aside from Macken, the series also features Jill Flint, who used to star on Royal Pains, Brendan Fehr, better known for his role in Roswell, Ken Leung of Lost, and Scott Wolf.

Of course, I have discovered that The Night Shift drew me in with the cast and the humor, made me think it was going to be a fun summer show, and then hit me over the head with drama and suspense in the last three episodes of the season. It’s something viewers maybe should have expected, given the fact that T.C. Callahan, the lead character played by Macken, suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder after his time in Afghanistan. The series just wrapped up its eight-episode first season Tuesday night, but it will be back for a second season next summer. I would definitely recommend giving it a chance.

Another great new offering is MTV‘s Finding Carter, which premiered last week. The show follows 16-year-old Carter, who learns the mother she grew up with actually kidnapped her 13 years before. Carter is forced to return to her biological family whom she does not remember and a mother who is intent on tracking down the kidnapper. From what I’ve seen of this show so far, it is very well done, with a great cast and compelling characters. Cynthia Watros is brilliant as Carter’s biological mother, and I love having Alexis Denisof, who plays Carter’s father, back on my television weekly. MTV has once again surprised me by proving it’s capable of producing quality television.

I’m even less a fan of soap opera-y television than medical dramas. However my tolerance for that genre increases during the summer months. Maybe it’s nostalgia, as I can remember spending many summer afternoons, sitting in my grandmother’s living room, watching her “stories.” Summer just seems like as good a time as any to indulge in a little guilty-pleasure soapy viewing. (Perhaps if One Tree Hill or Dawson’s Creek had aired in the summer, I wouldn’t have given up on them.)

This summer’s guilty pleasure show is Lifetime‘s Witches of East End. I passed on it last summer, but a friend convinced me to give it a chance, so I found it streaming on Netflix this past weekend. Before I knew it, I had watched the entire first season and the second-season premiere. The show is definitely soapy and melodramatic, but I like the characters, especially Madchen Amick‘s Aunt Wendy. I also like that the show doesn’t take itself too seriously. The first episode mocked the cliché of girls finding out they’re witches, when matriarch Joanna was forced to reveal the truth to her older daughter, Ingrid. Witches of East End is a little more dramatic than my usual preference for summer viewing, but it’s actually much less dark than several other must-see shows on my summer viewing list.

I’ve already talked about how much I love Teen Wolf in a previous column. Despite its dark tone and suspenseful storylines, it’s definitely one of my favorite summer shows. Along similar lines, True Blood has been a can’t-miss series for me since its first season. The novels on which the show is based are the perfect summer reading book: not too serious or dark, with some amount of humor. The TV series, however, is much darker — and also much better than the books. I’m going to miss this show when it ends its run next month, and I’m sad that we’re already saying goodbye to some of my favorite characters. Like Witches of East End, True Blood has just the right amount of soapy melodrama to make it a good summer show.

Enough talking — I have plenty of TV filling up my DVR this summer. So, what shows have you been watching?

uswnt

Men still rule in sports, if they dominate on field or not

The airwaves have been dominated by male-dominated sporting events over the past few weeks. Those who follow all types of sports know that the men’s 2014 FIFA World Cup has just come to a close, and we are currently in the throes of the yearly Tour de France competition. These two areas have been dominated by males for the better part of the last century, and I, for one, would like to see that change.

First, let me state that I am a huge soccer fan. I came of age during the 1990s, when the American women dominated the 1991 and 1999 women’s World Cups, putting soccer on the map as the ultimate expression of girl power. When I tune in to soccer, I prefer to watch the women’s matches over the men’s because, let’s face it, the women actually win. The U.S. women’s national team is currently ranked number one in the world by FIFA and has won two World Cups as well as four Olympic gold medals. Conversely, the U.S. men’s national team has yet to win a World Cup despite their participation in the competition since its inception in 1930.

I tell you all of this to set the stage for my outrage. I was sitting in a local pub, enjoying the World Cup and identifying the flags of the competing countries. While imbibing some celebratory libations (read: beer), I struck up a conversation with another gentleman at the bar. I told him I was a big soccer fan, but that I preferred to watch women’s soccer because I found their playing technique to be cleaner and, therefore, the competition to be more exciting. The guys said to me, “Oh, is there a World Cup competition for the women?” I politely told him yes, and that they were two-time World Cup champions and were successful in several Olympics.

Inside, I was seething. How could this guy, who considers himself to be a “soccer fan,” not be aware of the women’s team? How could he not know about the great players of the past like Julie Foudy, Mia Hamm, and Brandy Chastain, or even heard of the players of today including Alex Morgan, Abby Wambach, or my newest favorite, Sydney Leroux? More specifically, how does a soccer fan who is older than 24 not remember the epic women’s World Cup win in 1999 where Brandi Chastain ripped her shirt off in celebration after scoring the winning goal?!

I know the women are further behind in terms of recognition in this sport. The first women’s World Cup wasn’t held until 1991, and that competition was only recognized as the first World Cup in retrospect. However, despite the many issues I have with FIFA, I applaud the association for one thing: recognizing the need for a women’s competition and filling that gender hole.

It is my hope that, someday, we will see the organizers of the Tour de France come to this same conclusion. I wouldn’t consider myself an avid cycling fan, but I do love watching Le Tour every year. I hold my breath during the mountain phases, especially through rainy descents like the one that took Alberto Contador out of the competition yesterday. As much as I enjoy the Tour, I wish I could also see competitors who look like me. The only time I get to watch women’s cycling is when it breaks into the mainstream every eight years during the Summer Olympics.

Rest assured I will be watching July 27 when women will finally get a chance to ride down the Champs Elysees during their one-day La Course race. Could I seek out more women’s cycling? Absolutely, but my point is that I shouldn’t have to. Women athletes work just as hard as men in terms of training their bodies to compete in these sporting events. Why should they not receive equal airtime?

To be sure, I don’t always advocate for the women’s team by default. Honestly, when it comes to basketball, I find the men’s games to be more exciting and at a much more enjoyable pace; to me, the women take too long to run their plays and they lose my attention. However, during March Madness, I can easily find men’s and women’s basketball and choose for myself which I would rather watch. I would like to see the cycling community make similar efforts as FIFA and the NCAA: give the women equal airtime and put the competitions on prominent stations during a decent hour (i.e., not 3 a.m.).

Race organizers of the Tour state they simply can’t hold another race because it’s too much work. To that, I say: tough. You seem to manage the logistics when it comes to running a men’s race.

My Nerd/Wise brother-in-law always asks me what we “can do” to make this world a little bit more feminist-friendly. In honor of his request, I have a suggestion: start supporting women athletes. Watch their competitions, cheer them on, root for the U.S.A. in any event and for any gender. Let’s not squander away the four years between the Olympic competitions to show our girl power!

gazela

Red, white, and … green wine? The Vinho Verde experience

“Vinho Verde” — could that really mean “green wine”? Literally, yes, it translates from Portuguese as green wine, but “green” here is meant to convey youth, not color. These wines are normally meant to be enjoyed in the first few years after they are bottled. It is an enjoyable wine, particularly in the summer, and is widely available for less than 10 bucks.

Is this too good to be true? I’m here to tell you, it is not. This is a wine that has exploded in popularity recently, with Portugal exporting triple the volume to the United States in 2012 versus 2002.

The grapes for Vinho Verde are grown in the northwest corner of Portugal. This northern area is mostly within Minho province, home to another green specialty, caldo verde, a soup of potatoes and collard greens. Most grape growers in the area are small or family operations that grow other produce in addition to grapes. Consequently, grapevines are grown much higher up, on high trellises or even up telephone poles or the trunks of trees, so that vegetables can be grown near the ground. Minho province gets a considerable amount of rainfall each year, and growing vines higher off the ground helps avoid rot and other fungal diseases on the grapes.

The wine name is not synonymous with the grape varietal used. In fact, many different grapes are allowed in making a wine labeled Vinho Verde, including Albariño, Arinto, Avesso, Azal Branco, Loureiro, and Trajadura for white Vinho Verde. (The wine can be red or rosé as well.) Aside from Albariño, which is sometimes labeled Vinho Alvarinho to denote the specific varietal, these grapes are likely unknown to most people outside northern Portugal.

And what about the wine itself? The whites, in particular, are perfectly suited for summer sipping. They are light, refreshing, and effervescent. They do not qualify as sparkling or even semi-sparkling, but the carbonation is definitely noticeable. The wines are normally acidic to heavily acidic; if you prefer oak barrel aged, buttery chardonnay, this might not be your wine. But if you enjoy riesling or sauvignon blanc, this is definitely something you might want to try.

On the nose, these wines are often very aromatic, with fresh pear, peach, apple, and lemon tastes. The acidic flavors make it a perfect pairing with seafood; the more acidic, less fruity offerings are tremendous with shellfish. The whole essence of the wine — light, refreshing, acidic, quasi-sparkling, with lighter fruit flavors and low alcohol (between 8.5 and 11 percent) — screams for a long, relaxed meal of seafood dishes while sitting outside on a perfect day.

Gazela Vinho Verde, my very first experience with this wine style, is a great one. It is zesty, acidic, and fresh, with a thirst-quenching pear, lime, and grapefruit combination on the palate. Take a few more sips and you’ll find hidden gems beneath the surface: fresh ginger, apricot, and tangerine. The wine has an ocean-air quality to it, like you can almost-but-not-quite taste the salt. It’s a steal at $8.

Hera Vinho Verde Branco was fantastic as well — and another bargain at $10. It is all citrus and melon on the very fragrant nose, followed honeydew, citrus, pear, and floral notes on the palate. The acidity here is racy but is mellowed by some slight residual sugar; combined with the effervescence, the wine is very well-balanced.

Finally, I wanted to mention Quinta da Aveleda Vinho Verde, which may appeal to some who are less inclined to drink acidic wine. A few years ago, Joshua Greene, Publisher and Editor of Wine & Spirits Magazine, called this the best wine value in the world. The wine is not as light as the Hera or Gazela — it has a little more weight to it, but still is certainly not heavy — and does not possess the sparkling quality of the other two. The flavors are citrus-focused, with an intriguing rose petal component — still acidic, but not necessarily racy or zesty (though this will undoubtedly depend on the vintage), and another steal at $9.

Portuguese wine as a whole is underrated. The big, powerful reds are often overlooked in favor of more prestigious Châteaux in France or more trendy wineries on the West Coast of the United States. Even port wines are not popular, though they do have a special following. Vinho Verde is a great way to start exploring Portuguese whites.

Swirl, sniff, sip.

elephant-house

Magic of Harry Potter endures, especially in UK

When I was in high school, I discovered a series of books that captivated my imagination in a way no book had before or has since. There’s just something about J.K. Rowling‘s Harry Potter novels that is entirely whimsical and magical: no matter how old you are when reading them, you feel like a kid again as you share in Harry’s adventures. Harry Potter captivated the world from the moment the first book was published, and I’ve realized over the last few weeks that magic will never fade. I am perfectly happy about that.

Harry Potter has been in the news a lot this past week. Tuesday was the 14-year anniversary of the publication of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. (14 years?!? It doesn’t seem possible.) But the big news was that Rowling published a new short story about the world of Potter on her Pottermore social media website. While the rest of the world is tuned in to the finals of the FIFA World Cup, you can follow the news of the Quidditch World Cup through Rita Skeeter’s gossip column in the Daily Prophet. The story describes adult Harry Potter and his friends as they attend the biggest quidditch match of the past four years.

Tuesday also marked the grand opening of Diagon Alley at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. One of my dreams in life is to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and have a Butterbeer in Diagon Alley. While I haven’t gotten there yet, I was pleasantly surprised to visit many Harry Potter-themed locations during my recent trip to the United Kingdom. This, more than any of the mentions of Harry Potter in the media this week, has proved to me that the magic of Harry Potter will live on forever.

I knew when I left home that I would have free time in London, so visiting King’s Cross and Platform 9 ¾ was always at the top of my to-do list. But I never even considered how many other ways Harry Potter would come to mind throughout my trip. I even found myself wondering at one point: what would this trip have been like before Harry Potter existed? Would it have been a little less magical? Because there were times when I could imagine Harry actually existing, which made the trip that much more special for all the fans who traveled with me.

It all started when we were in Edinburgh, Scotland — which may seem strange, but let me remind you that Rowling herself lives in Scotland. In fact, Rowling spent much of her time writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (as the first book is known in the U.K.) in a little café called The Elephant House. I don’t know what the café was like back in the 1990s, when Rowling was a regular, but today it’s a wonderful place to stop and have lunch.

The Elephant House proudly boasts about being “The birthplace of Harry Potter,” but other than a sign on the window and news clippings on one wall, the café has held to its original elephant theme. There are elephant statues, elephant pictures, elephant books (Babar!), and even a really cute old, wooden child’s chair shaped like an elephant. It had a great atmosphere and really good food. One could easily forget the connection to Rowling until walking into the restroom. I can’t speak for the men’s room, of course, but the walls of the women’s restroom were covered, floor to ceiling (and even the mirror), with notes from Harry Potter fans from all over the world. Standing there, looking at all the notes, really made me realize how large the Potter fandom is.

In the famous Greyfriars Kirkyard, not far from The Elephant House, lie the graves of Thomas Riddell, Esq., and a William McGonagall, both believed to have been subconscious inspirations for the characters of Tom Riddle and Professor McGonagall. Unfortunately for me, though I wandered through this graveyard that day, I did not realize the connection to Harry Potter until much later. However, I did see some very creepy headstones in the graveyard, and it made me think a little of the graveyard scene in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

After leaving Scotland, we traveled down through England, making our way to London. We spent one day in the lovely city of York, which was also the starting point for this year’s Tour de France. After touring York Minster, which is a gorgeous cathedral with a fascinating history dating back to the Romans, we were taken on a tour of some of the smaller streets of the town. Walking through those streets was like stepping into Harry Potter’s England in real life.

The streets were brick or cobblestone, and the myriad collection of storefronts with colorful window displays reminded me so much of the famous Harry Potter location, Diagon Alley. (There were even a few that brought to mind images of the creepier Knockturn Alley.) As I walked, I could imagine myself looking into the storefronts of Ollivanders or Madame Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions. I had made this observation to one of my traveling companions and, not five minutes later, we turned a corner and suddenly we really were standing in Diagon Alley.

The Shambles is one of the oldest streets in York and one of the best-preserved medieval locations in the world. At the time they were built — as early as 900 years ago — the owners were taxed based on the footprint of the building; therefore, they would build up and out, leading to buildings appearing top-heavy and crooked. Looking down this street, you really could swear you were in Diagon Alley — in fact, Harry Potter tours will make this a stop on their trip, claiming the street served as an inspiration for the street of markets. The Shambles may well be the closest you’ll get to Diagon Alley in real life (not counting a theme park attraction), so if you ever find yourself in York, I recommend you look it up.

british-alley

London is one of the first places in England people think of when they think of Harry Potter, and, indeed, there are a lot of connections there. However, I found my favorite Harry Potter-related memory in London actually had nothing to do with Platform 9 ¾ which is basically just a tourist trap these days — a fun stop, but I prefer more authentic experiences. I did not wait in line for the photo op as I did not have time before I had to meet the rest of my group for a tour of Windsor Castle, but I did stop into the gift shop nearby.

While this is just another tourist trap and way to spent money, I did enjoy wandering through this small shop, looking at all the merchandise. (They had actual, house-themed cardigans and scarves!) There was a wall of wands nestled in their boxes, just like you would find in Ollivanders. The hustle and bustle of the shop and the Harry Potter soundtrack pumping through the speakers couldn’t help but make me imagine I was really in a wizarding shop.

While in London, we also made a quick stop at Millennium Bridge, which you can see being destroyed by Death Eaters in the sixth Harry Potter film. Aside from the Harry Potter connection, the bridge itself is fascinating. There are places where people have dropped used chewing gum as they have walked across the bridge. The gum has become ground into the floor of the bridge. Some of those pieces have become miniature works of art, as someone has taken the time to transform them into animals and other images. Rumor has it, this is the work of the artist known as Banksy.

My favorite Harry Potter-related memory in London is one that was entirely unexpected — and also a little terrifying at the time. After arriving at our hotel on the outskirts of the city, we had to take a double-decker bus into the city, where we could then use the London Underground. I was excited to be able to cross “ride in the top of a London double-decker bus” off my bucket list, but the ride itself was rather terrifying.

Remember that scene in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, where Harry rides the Knight Bus to the Leaky Cauldron? This ride literally felt almost exactly like that. The bus drove fast and came to many abrupt stops — sometimes much closer to the vehicle in front of us than may be comfortable — crossed lanes haphazardly, squeezed between parked cars on one side and oncoming traffic on the other, and nearly ran straight into another bus making the same turn. It truly reminded everyone with me of Harry’s trip on the Knight Bus, and looking back, it’s possibly one of my favorite memories from London — it’s certainly one of the most vivid.

And that’s why, even after all these years, Harry Potter still has an impact in the lives of its fans. The magic of the books and the films can be invoked at any time; they can cheer you up on a dreary day, transport you to a world where anything is possible, and, last month, Harry Potter helped make my trip to the Great Britain just a little more magical.

hobby-lobby-protest

Hobby Lobby decision shouldn’t surprise any woman

Since my last article apologized for my absence here on Curiata.com, I’m not going to waste time saying sorry for my lack of articles over the past few weeks. I’ll just say: I’m back!

This week, I’d like to talk about the Burwell v. Hobby Lobby case decided last week by the Supreme Court of the United States. I know, you’ve probably already read a thousand articles expressing rage and disbelief over the Supreme Court decision. For anyone who has been living under a rock (or has been working such an insane amount of hours that you don’t even know what day it is), the Supreme Court ruled that closely held corporations (i.e., Hobby Lobby) are allowed to refuse insurance coverage for specific types of birth control due to their religious beliefs.

*cue the outraged cry of the feminists*

I have so many problems with this ruling, I don’t even know where to begin. First and foremost, it singles out one specific type of medical treatment. The Court even said that this ruling could not be used as a basis for refusing coverage for blood transfusions or vaccinations. It’s mighty convenient that we are basically invalidating some religious beliefs while catering to others.

Secondly, the Supreme Court ruling, either intentionally or not, put the values and ideals of a corporation above that of an actual person.

Third and finally, the ruling continues to muddy the waters between birth control and abortion, a line that science has clearly drawn.

In the week following this ground-breaking decision, I had a chance to talk to a lot of my friends and colleagues about the ruling. Not surprisingly, I found that most people were outraged and were planning boycotts of Hobby Lobby. I even heard this sentiment from my self-proclaimed conservative friends. What is surprising is that, while everyone else was outraged, I found myself quite ambivalent about it.

Day after day, week after week, I think about the social injustice that just comes with the territory of being a woman. There are days when I come home, seeing red, because of some insensitive, sexist thing that some dude felt he needed to say to me. I’ve been sexually harassed. I’ve been told, point blank, that I have no idea what I’m doing because I’m a woman.

This may sound a wee bit jaded, but I was truly expecting the Hobby Lobby decision. I’m not surprised by it all. If I look at the way women are treated every day by the majority of men, it’s not surprising to me that a court dominated by old men made the “un-feminist” decision.

Now, before you all start slamming me with that #NotAllMen crap, I realize that not all men feel this way. But the truth is that, oftentimes, the men who claim to be feminist and supportive of these things are a rarity. I choose to surround myself with the type of men who are comfortable being called a feminist, so I often forget they are the exception, not the rule.

Until we live in a world where men don’t automatically assume I’m the secretary, or one where I don’t get cat-called to for wearing a skirt, or one where I can wield tools and not be told I have no clue what I am doing, I am not going to expect the men on the Supreme Court to prioritize our needs over those of a “closely held corporation.”

wineclip

What We’re Pouring: July 8, 2014

Bill and Jared offer these mini-reviews of the drinks that have sustained them for the past several weeks.


2012 Sheldrake Point Gamay Noir
Finger Lakes, New York, United States

The wine is very upfront on cherry and berry fruit aromas, like fruit punch, as soon as the bottle is uncorked. It is a pleasant aroma that will tempt wine drinkers who are especially fond of fruity wines. In the glass, it pours a ruby red color. At this point, I should have let the wine sit a little, but I was thirsty and eager to try. The wine was extremely heavy in cherry syrup flavors that immediately made me think Robitussin or Vicks. I wasn’t overly enthralled by what happened next, either, for as strong as the flavor hit, it left almost as quickly, without much residual flavor on the tongue. The wineries website asserts a creamy finish to the wine, but I did not experience this. The wine seemed thin and just simply vanished. Admittedly, the second glass seemed better, after some exposure to air, but was still underwhelming. Good if you like strong cherry flavors in your wine; otherwise, try Sheldrake Point’s pinot noir: it’s much more satisfying. Rating: C+
— Jared Washburn


N.V. Freixenet Cordon Negro Brut Extra Dry Cava
Penedes, Catalonia, Spain

This sparkling wine has a great deal to offer — and at a decent price (only about $13). There is a tempting sweetness on the nose that translates to a sweet melon flavor, but being an extra dry wine, the sweetness factor is quickly evaporated and replaced with the typical tang and zip of a Cava. It is refreshing, somewhat acidic, and has a surprisingly long finish that yields earthy notes of toasted cracker. Drink chilled and enjoy with appetizers or snacks. Rating: B
— Jared Washburn


N.V. Zardetto Prosecco DOC Treviso Extra Dry
Treviso, Veneto, Italy

This sparkling wine worked very nicely as an aperitif. At first, mellow fruit aroma on the nose, but then dominated by a more floral/perfume aroma, the pale, yellow wine gave way to spiced apple and pear on first taste. A dry wine that had a nice level of carbonation and really danced on the tongue, but then sat nicely on the palate for a lingering aftertaste. Refreshing, in spite of the dryness, and left an aftertaste that was smooth and somewhat creamy. Great balance of acidity. I plan to try this again with some oysters on the half shell, as I think it would pair nicely. This is definitely worth checking out at about $18. Rating: A
— Jared Washburn


2013 Damiani Dry Rosé
Finger Lakes, New York, United States

A beautiful salmon-pink color in the glass, this 100 percent pinot noir ros‚ is not shy. The nose is very fragrant, with strawberry, cranberry, lemon, and slight savory/earthy aromas. On the palate, it’s primarily a mix of strawberry jam and sour cherries, but with nice acidity and a minerality that balances the fruit flavors. The wine has a bit more weight than an everyday rosé — more medium-bodied. Long finish makes you want more. $16. Rating: B++
— Bill George


N.V. Lamoreaux Landing Estate Red
Finger Lakes, New York, United States

A nice, dark garnet color, but still somewhat transparent. Medium-bodied, with aromas of brown sugar, raspberry, and spice. Plenty of red fruit flavors on the palate — cherry, raspberry, plum, even cranberry — make this a great everyday wine, with or without food, though I find that it pairs well with pizza or barbecue. $12. Rating: B
— Bill George


2012 Lamoreaux Landing Dry Riesling
Finger Lakes, New York, United States

As I wrote in a recent column, I was really impressed with the wine at Lamoreaux Landing, and the classic dry riesling is a great example. Showing plenty of Finger Lakes minerality, it also exudes zippy citrus on the palate, particularly lemon and lime, with a nice splash of tropical passion fruit on the finish. Very well balanced. $14. Rating: A
— Bill George


2013 Hector Wine Company Sauvignon Blanc
Finger Lakes, New York, United States

Very fresh on the nose, with aromas of an herb garden mixed with citrus. On the palate, it is quite lively, with flavors of grapefruit, melon, a bit of fresh-cut grass, and a spritz of lemon juice. I paired this with pesto pasta and chicken; the herbal/grassy notes went really well with the garlic and basil, and the acidity of the wine cut right through the oily sauce. $18. Rating: A-
— Bill George

korra

Legend of Korra showcases versatility of animation

The idea that an adult male watches cartoons often provokes a good bit of laughter and social ostracism. It also raises a few eyebrows when that same adult male writes about 19th century Europe and the 1820s American political system. But it isn’t as strange as it seems, and actually makes a good bit of sense. A good cartoon can be just as thought-provoking as any show on AMC, and more often than not, the writing is better than anything that appears on the broadcast networks.

Ultimately, animation, like comics, is a medium, with its own unique potential that can be utilized to maximum effect. What a creator does with any medium determines whether or not a story is good. As a fellow contributor to Curiata.com likes to say, good writing is good writing, it doesn’t matter if it’s in a book or portrayed on a screen. The prejudice people have toward cartoons is based on the assumption that all cartoons are aimed at kids, or are using the cartoon medium to add to the joke of shocking humor for adult comedies like South Park. That is a painfully simple view that ignores all of the great cartoons released every year, particularly by the Japanese, which offer thought-provoking and imaginative takes on real questions.

Using a cartoon allows the storyteller unlimited creative freedom. Like comics, the visual aspect of the show is only limited by its creators’ imaginations. Unlike comics, cartoons can be made to illustrate epic, flowing action scenes and sprawling, panoramic shots of fictional worlds. Cartoons can then use these tremendous new worlds to tell us stories about our own, in ways that even the best movie director can’t. The right combination of inventive animation and meaningful writing can result in some of the best shows on television. Among these shows, which I enjoy just as much as Mad Men or Hell on Wheels, is The Legend of Korra.

The Legend of Korra is a sequel to the popular Nickelodeon show Avatar: The Last Airbender. Both Avatar and The Legend of Korra are about a world in which some of the population has the ability to manipulate or “bend” certain elements. Benders are only able to control one element, usually depending on what nation they belong to: Fire, Water, Earth, or Air. The Avatar is the only person in this world who can bend all four elements. This person acts as the bridge between the human and spirit worlds and is reincarnated after death in the way that the Dalai Lama is said to be. Korra is the next incarnation of the Avatar after Last Airbender’s protagonist, Aang.

Avatar was an incredibly well-written show that was aimed at a younger audience. When Korra was given the green light, the creators had to decide whether or not to continue aiming for the young demographic, or to follow the path of anime, which inspired the art style of Avatar, and age with its audience to produce a show targeting older viewers. The decision was made to create a show that can continue to appeal to new viewers while giving older fans more complex storylines containing allusions to politics, social justice, and world history.

The first season of The Legend of Korra reintroduces the audience to the world of the Avatar — greatly changed since the days of Aang’s adventures. The four warring nations have come to peace and a new government has formed in Republic City: a steampunk-esque city modeled after both feudal Japan and the United States in the 1920s, complete with radios, film reels, and crude automobiles. Fans of The Last Airbender can see the changes of the world in the last 70 years instantly. The city, which was founded, in part, by the previous Avatar, contains many of the problems of the modern metropolis. A constant battle exists between crime syndicates, which usually contain several element benders, and the police force, all of whom are a special breed of earth benders: metal benders. The result is a plethora of intense and unique scenes.

The show takes the premise of Avatar and places it in a modern context. In a realistic world, the police and the crime syndicates would obviously make use of bending abilities to further their goals, whether noble or sinister. But the realism of the new industrial era of Avatar isn’t limited to criminals. The show includes a social movement — one that begins with noble intentions but also takes a violent and aggressive turn.

Upon entering Republic City, Korra is met with resentment from a group of marginalized people calling themselves the Equalists. The Equalists address an issue that goes largely ignored through Aang’s journey. Only some people on this planet have the ability to bend the elements. How does that affect the common people? What prevents benders from using their powers to subjugate the masses? In fact, the world of Avatar often shows that benders are in positions of power. Does their world actually operate under an oligarchy of the bending class?

The Equalists are a group of radicals, led by the enigmatic Amon, that demands the equality of all persons. Amon, who wears a mask to hide scars supposedly given to him by a fire bender, has the ability to take away a bender’s abilities — a power that had only been seen once before, from Avatar Aang. Amon’s ability and his uncanny knack for manipulating the masses gives him immense power and makes him a great threat to the status quo of Republic City and the Avatar.

Amon argues something reasonable but offers an answer that goes beyond what may be morally acceptable. The Equalists believe it to be unfair that only a select few have the ability to manipulate the elements. We can understand their feelings on this issue, but what right do the disgruntled have to take away a gift that has been given to others? Amon also uses the story of a single fire bender to propagate the idea that all benders are naturally a threat to the good, freedom-loving folks of Republic City. It’s Demagogue 101 — determine an “other,” attribute terrible qualities to them, use a single instance of truth to give your claims credibility, and appeal to the base prejudice in the people. By telling them that he will be their guide and their savior, Amon uses real feelings of powerlessness in others to empower himself.

The Equalists were also used as an “other” to further the goals of Republic City councilman Tarrlok, a water bender. Tarrlok’s lust for power rather than any desire to do good clearly colors his political decisions. This often puts him at odds with Aang’s son, Tenzin, also on the council, who seems to subscribe to the philosophy of noblesse oblige. As someone who was born into a position of importance, Tenzin sees his status as both a burden and a gift that must be used to help others in the world. He uses this philosophy to positively influence Korra to do the same. Korra may not have asked for her status, but she should use it as well as she can to help the less powerful.

Korra’s sense of social justice is important to her development as a character. As the Avatar, she is the embodiment of a world of privilege by birth. The entire society is centered around her. But Korra’s parents are simple people from the southern water tribe. Being the Avatar has made her arrogant, but she is still human and, ultimately, she believes in fairness.

The Equalists challenge her outlook on the world. Perhaps it is unfair that a select few have been given such great gifts while others have to work much harder to find relevance in life. But the Equalists’ philosophy drives them to terrorism. Amon uses his highly trained forces and electrified weaponry to make theatrical displays of power against benders, and the Avatar in particular. Korra and her friends are thus put to the test against these skilled fighters who prove that you don’t need to be a bender to be a force in their world.

Tarrlok, like any good power-seeker, uses the terrorist actions of Amon and the Equalists to further his own agenda. Average people protesting the decisions of the City Council are put under arrest by Tarrlok, who labels the protesters Equalists. While not taken to that extreme, Tarrlok’s actions bring to mind the Guantanamo Bay detention camp and the idea that simply labeling someone a terrorist or enemy combatant removes any rights they have as human beings to be fairly tried.

Korra has to navigate this world of political intrigue and social upheaval while also protecting herself from Amon’s personal vendetta, leaving her completely uncertain who she can trust. And she must do this while her own morals are being put to the test. Korra, though a proponent of social justice, is quick to fight and reacts violently to people she views as evil. It is the duty of Tenzin, who was raised by the much more pacifist Aang, to show Korra the better path: There are men out there who would harm innocents for personal gain, or for a grander vision. We can’t be quick to pull the trigger, and we should evolve with the changing times. Those with whom we disagree don’t deserve violence. They should be heard and understood. Only when all other options have been exhausted should one resort to physicality.

The people of Republic City have a reason to be disgruntled. Despite the promise of its name, the ruling class of the City are hardly representative of the population. The council is made up of a representative from each of the elemental nations. Tenzin, whose nation consisted of only his own family, held equal power with the Earth councilmen, whose people were large and expansive. The Legend of Korra’s first season shows us how this system can change into something more democratic, as the season ends with the election of Republic City’s first president. Moving into a more presidential system shows how political movements can make a difference. But it was done through peace and negotiation, not brought on because of the violent actions of a few terrorists.

Despite its influence from Japanese art and storytelling, The Legend of Korra is ultimately a work of strong American allegory. It shows us the good and the bad with democratic systems, focusing on the problems that come with rapid progress and social change. And it does it all in a way that is eye-catching, interesting, and appeals to both children and adults. It is a show aimed at kids that still challenges adults. Yes, it is a cartoon, and it is one that I am proud to enjoy.

beer-fire

Slip into relaxation with these campfire brews

After a long day of hiking, fishing, and canoeing subsides, after the search for adequate dry kindling ends, and after the initial fuss and smoke and spark of flickering baby flames erupts, the soothing magic of a summer campfire asserts itself and lures the camper into a trance. The pulsating glow of coals and dancing blue-gold flames licking the strategically placed logs is a kind of hypnosis unlike any other. All troublesome thoughts and worries fade and the quiet stillness of the woods at dusk is only broken by the subtle crackling pops and wheezes of the fire.

A man can be lost for minutes, simply staring into the hot coals of a well-built campfire. The only thing to break the trance is the reminder of the cold beverage in hand. A shake of the head to bring the camper back and the bottle of delicious beer becomes the new reality. There are not too many earthly experiences that can match the satisfaction of a mouthwatering, yeasty, malty brew enjoyed by the fireside with friends and/or loved ones.

Camping this weekend and sitting by a fire of my own design afforded me some time to taste some worthy beers that only added new levels of enjoyment to the campfire experience. I had with me a couple Belgians (the mass-marketed and produced Palm Special and a small-production level saison from a family brewery) and a trio of beers from Otto’s Pub and Brewery, a craft brewery in State College, Pennsylvania.

Once the fire was good and glowing hot, with adequate flame-age to meet my high standards — that’s when I popped the first cap. I started with a Palm Speciale, a beer that has become one of my absolute favorite “everyday” type beers in recent years. I guess I chose this beer first because it was one I didn’t need to think about. Having had this beer many, many times, I figured I could still work on the early stages of my fire and enjoy this beer without much need for time to sit and reflect. It’s a smooth-drinking, palpable amber ale that blends English hops (from Kent) with French barley and Belgian yeast. It’s a harmonious blend that yields to a fruity, yeasty aroma and a balanced bitterness that makes it an enjoyable, easy-to-drink beer, with a sweet and mellow honey finish.

Once the fire was really going and I could finally stop nitpicking over the need for constant attentiveness, I decided to pop the cork (yes, a corked bottle!) of a saison I picked up before my camping trip at a favorite restaurant of mine, Cafe Bruges in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. This beer, called La Saison d’Epeautre (or “Spelt of the Season”) by Brasserie de Blaugies, is a traditional farmhouse ale brewed by a small, family-owned and operated brewery near the French border with Belgium.

This beer was surprisingly high in carbonation, much more than most saisons, but I think this added to its appeal. I found this to be a perfect warm-weather beer. The golden, straw-colored beer combines a wheaty spelt malt with barley to make it a kind of combination of a witbier and amber ale. Its super carbonation gave it a foamy head that took time to subside, but the taste was refreshing and really hit the spot on a warm evening by the campfire as the sun waned and quietly slipped beyond the horizon.

By now, the campfire scene was dark, and the large flames from early on had consumed much of the initial timber as the hot coals began to glow. I tossed on a few large, heavy timber logs and sat back to watch the flames grow again. I now turned to a trio of ales I had picked up in six-packs at Otto’s Pub and Brewery in State College. My sister and brother-in-law live in State College and recommended this place to me, and I took their advice on a few beers.

I started with one of Otto’s seasonal brews, Pallet Jack Pale Ale. Pallet Jack quickly became my favorite beer of the weekend. It is a Belgian-style pale ale that is reminiscent of some blonde abbey ales like Affligem’s blonde ale or the more commonly known Samuel Adams Summer Ale. According to Otto’s website, the brewery uses Belgian yeasts to ferment the beer and mixes in a blend of hops. The beer is noticeably lemon heavy, and that taste follows through all the way to the finish. The citrus fruit is refreshing and not overly acidic, though. The beer has a white, thin-but-frothy head and a deep golden hue — delicious and very drinkable. Thinking that I may have found my new favorite summer beer, I had to have a second one.

Moving on to the later hours now, the fire began to dwindle and I was quite at ease with myself and the state of the world as I drank the last two of my chosen campfire beers, both from Otto’s. I had two of their mainstay brews, the Slab Cabin I.P.A. and the Zeno’s Rye Ale. Slab Cabin offered up a typical, hop-centric, floral aromatic sensibility that is expected with an American I.P.A., but it had a reddish-brown hue, which I felt was atypical for this style of beer. I later found out from Otto’s website that this is due to the addition of Munich malts, giving it a German doppelbock appearance. The beer was more of a sipper than the previous few, but it offered me a chance to take it easy and really enjoy my now-low-burning fire.

Zeno’s Rye Ale, which came heavily recommended by my sister, poured a darker, but still translucent, brown with a frothy white head that was thick. The beer took on a spiced aroma, like cinnamon or vanilla, the rye ever-present. This was a great finishing beer, as it was quite complex compared to the more refreshing tastes of the previous beers. It featured long, lingering hops, smooth without overwhelming my palate.

By this point, my gaze lost in the lingering flickering flames that leaped from side to side of a thoroughly charred log, I was feeling satisfied, accomplished, and tired. A campfire, with the sounds of crickets all around and the stars above, made my personal tasting a worthy experience. So, if you are looking for some good, easy-drinking brews to share by the campfire this summer, you can’t go wrong with any of the beers I had. Enjoy your summer!

Quick tasting notes:

Palm Speciale — A Belgian amber ale, easy to drink, smooth, with a honey sweetness and balanced bitterness. Good everyday beer. 5.4 percent alcohol by volume, 18 International Bitterness Units. Available in bottles or draft. Grade: B

Blaugies La Saison d’Epeautre — A wheat-heavy Belgian traditional saison beer with a heavy carbonation and refreshing taste. 6 percent ABV. Only sold in corked 750-milliliter bottles. A

Pallet Jack Pale Ale — My favorite beer to have enjoyed by the fire. A yeasty, citrus-heavy pale ale with a thin, foamy head. 6.1 percent ABV. Available on draft at the pub, or to take home in six-packs or by the case. A

Slab Cabin I.P.A. — Typical tasting American I.P.A. but with a brown tone due to added Munich malts. Hop heavy. 6.3 percent ABV. Available on draft, in 12-ounce or 22-ounce bottles, and in a keg from the brewery. B-

Zeno’s Rye Ale — Spicy and complex ale, but with a smooth finish and flavor. Vanilla notes and cinnamon present. 6.5 percent ABV. Occasionally available on draft and 12-ounce bottles in six-packs. B

batman-bruce

Fan nostalgia endangers enjoyment of good fun

Nick Rose once again fills in for Charissa as she spends some time in the City of Light.


Being a fan is a full-time job. After all, we’re the upholders of a particular medium or franchise, a loyal community of people sharing a vested interest in the development and longevity of many different characters, properties, and fictional universes. We’ve eagerly watched as our prized possessions have evolved over decades, crossing media and other boundaries. We are the last line of defense for all we hold dear.

Part of this special relationship stems from its early formation. From youth forward, we’ve remained steadfast in our followings. As we matured, so did our perception of everything. Batman wasn’t cool only because his outfit was eye-catching and he could beat up bad guys. He speaks to the duality in all of us, the darkness we hone to bring light to a dangerous world. Similar insights come when we recognize Spider-man’s angst versus his physical abilities, the X-Men’s struggle for acceptance and identity, Superman’s coming to terms with his humanity, and so on. We go from blind adoration of these characters to passionate supporters of the themes and legacies they uphold. As they combat physical and existential obstacles, so do we.

In recent years, Hollywood has been keen on developing cinematic versions of our beloved heroes. As we watch them grace the big screen, a magical thing happens: part of us relives those moments of our youth. Sure, we’re not necessarily 10 inches from a television screen, drooling at everything in sight. But can we honestly say that wolfing down popcorn in an IMAX or regular movie theater doesn’t slightly resemble our Saturday mornings from so long ago?

Recent Hollywood fare seems partial to “reimagining” — and I use that term loosely — popular franchises from the late 80s and 90s. Michael Bay‘s first three Transformers films grossed over $1 billion worldwide, and the fourth entry topped box offices this weekend. In a similar vein, the Bay-produced reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hits theaters next month. I’d like to focus on these two recent examples mainly because they seem to encapsulate a lot of controversy surrounding fandom and movies in general.

As we left the theater after last week’s premiere of Transformers: Age of Extinction (AoE), something familiar happened. The audience, comprised of loyal fans willing enough to sacrifice sleep in favor of being the movie’s “first” viewers, began to exit the theater, wrapped up in dialogues about the film. As someone who has attended a number of these premieres, I can state with authority that any speaker you overhear neatly falls into three categories. The “Dude Oh My God” is one who has been enthralled by the film from start to finish. Whatever technical or narrative flaws exist have been completely disregarded, replaced by intense admiration, gaping mouth included. On the opposite end is “The Nitpicker,” whose premature negative attitude forced he/she to criticize the film’s shortcomings from start to finish. Lastly, you might encounter an occasional “In-Betweener,” someone on the fence and not opposed to a second viewing to cement his/her opinions.

A strong number of Nitpickers were biting into Age of Extinction as soon as the end credits began rolling. Chief among their numerous complaints was a so-called “mishandling” of the famed Dinobots. (Mild spoilers to follow.) Ever since the teaser trailer for AoE debuted during this year’s Super Bowl, Grimlock‘s role in the film was perhaps the most anticipated element. However, the payoff was less than satisfying for many.

Some people wear it like a crown. Others, not so much. Photo source: www.geekicorn.com

The mostly silent, savage portrayal of Grimlock and his companions was met with widespread disappointment, to the point that one viewer angrily concluded, “That was NOT the Dinobots.” Part of me wished to confront him and politely convince him, “Well, in this interpretation, it is.” Given his dismissive attitude toward friends who uttered the same thing, I held my breath. And though this gentleman’s reaction is his own and holds no influence on mine, I’ve found that negative attitudes like this one are an insult to fellow fans and hold the potential to ruin what makes our communities so great in the first place.

If you do not agree with a depiction of a certain event, character, or story, that’s your right to do so. With what we pay to see movies, you can bet we’ll be on our game to assess the film’s quality. But we need to be more realistic about what we are watching on the big screen. Nothing will ever replace or replicate our childhood experiences with these properties. That’s part of the beauty of it! Believe me: if it cost $10 to $15 for me to relive a cartoon-filled Saturday morning for a few hours, I’d be broke.

What we’re fortunate enough to have now are filmmakers who have made a professional career out of adapting other people’s stories and ideas. You can label their practices unoriginal if you want to, but isn’t there something exciting about a live-action version of things we once thought could only exist in animation? Even if we have seen it before, don’t you get amped up by watching Leonardo and his brothers showing The Foot Clan who’s boss? I know I do. And don’t misunderstand me: I am in no way suggesting we all abandon our right to a critical opinion. Isn’t there a well-known quote about opinions and a certain body part? Never mind …

Trailer for the upcoming TMNT reboot. Reactions to this trailer have been as extreme as “my childhood just died.” Video source: YouTube

Nostalgia is a strange thing. It attempts to recapture a past condition we know is unreachable. Even if we attain some semblance of it, be it an old cartoon, a faded comic book, or a dusty video game cartridge, the experience is temporary, if not totally fleeting. An honest acceptance of this reality would go a long way to renewing the general awesomeness that is being a fan. If you want to revel in the beauty of the original Ninja Turtles or Transformers, then by all means, do so. But don’t hold current movies to the standards of your 7-year-old self. Chances are you’ll always end up disappointed.

giving-tree

Why I hate The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

Reading books has always been one of my favorite pastimes. One of the most positive aspects of my own childhood was having a variety of books at my disposal. Someone, usually my grandmother, would see that I got to the library every two weeks during summer breaks, and I could borrow as many books as I could carry. On my birthday, Easter, and Christmas, I could expect to receive many books as gifts.

Not only did I have access to books, but I also had good reading role models. My grandparents always spend their evenings reading. My grandfather favors nonfiction, especially political analyses and biographies. My grandmother prefers mystery novels.

My dad spent many hours reading to me as a child. I loved how he would change his voice for each character. He has always spent days when it is either too hot or too cold to be outside with a book in his hands. He especially loves Larry McMurtry and historical fiction set in the time of the fur-trading mountain man.

In the summers, I would spend some weekends with my aunt and cousin. My aunt would usually take us to the public pool and, when we were tired of the water, we would rest on her big blanket and listen as she read us The Hobbit.

For myself, I prefer novels and historical fiction, though I do read nonfiction and biographies on topics and people who interest me. Long before I had kids, I knew that I would want to develop in them a love of books and reading. When I was expecting my first child, many books were given to me as gifts. Among them were classics from Beatrix Potter, plus Goodnight Moon, Where the Wild Things Are, whimsical books by Eric Carle and Sandra Boynton, and Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree.

For the beginning part of my first child’s young life, most of our time was spent with short and sweet books made out of fabric or board, which could survive near-constant exposure to baby gums and baby drool. But, after a while, I thought we’d read The Giving Tree. Everyone I knew said they loved it.

So, we began to read. The book starts out well enough. A tree loves a little boy. The little boy loves the tree. He loves her shade and her leaves and her apples. He loves to spend time with her, climb, swing, and play with her. The tree is happy. The boy is happy.

And that’s where the nice story ends and the personality disorders of the two main characters are revealed.

The boy grows up and leaves the tree but returns as a young adult. The tree invites the boy to come and play, but the boy says he wants to have fun and buy things and asks the tree for money. This is red flag number one: selfish freeloader. The tree doesn’t have money, of course, but gives the boy, now a young man, all of her apples to sell. The boy does not even say thank you. So far, the tree seems to be a helpful friend, willing to give the boy the benefit of the doubt that he really isn’t a selfish freeloader. The tree is wrong.

Years go by and the boy comes back to the tree. He is sad. He again refuses the tree’s offer to play and, without so much as a “How do you do?” asks for a house. Red flag number two: narcissism. Narcissism is a personality disorder in which an individual pursues personal gratification without regard for the feelings of others. Some traits of narcissists include (but certainly are not limited to) difficulty maintaining satisfactory relationships and a lack of empathy.

Of course, the tree has no house, but she does have branches, which she gives the boy (who is now a man) in order to build himself a house. He takes the lumber and leaves, again without saying thank you! The tree is happy.

Here’s where I begin to worry about this tree, because I’m pretty sure this tree suffers from codependency. Codependency, as defined by Wikipedia, is “a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”

The tree now has no branches, no leaves, and no apples. It’s basically alone and naked in the woods for decades when the boy, who is now a much older man, comes back. I imagine him, during this absence, having been married and divorced a minimum of three times. He probably has foreclosed on at least one house and has developed a gambling problem and an addiction to alcohol and/or street drugs. He also has had difficulty keeping a job and is estranged from all of his kids because he never really cared enough to parent them.

But return to the tree he does, and the tree is ecstatic. Did he come to thank the tree? Did he come to visit, reminisce, or play with the tree? The answer, predictably, is a big, fat NO. Now, this guy whines that he’s too old and too sad and too miserable, and he wants to sail away in a boat. (Probably to escape those persistent debt collectors and the attorneys of his three ex-wives!) The tree offers her entire trunk to this self-centered bastard and is happy about it. If I was unsure whether the tree was codependent before, I’m not anymore. The man is not too old to carry away the rest of this tree, and he presumably makes his boat and sails away. I’ll let you guess whether or not he said thank you.

Finally, when the man is old and very near death, he comes back to the tree. The tree is actually sorry that she has nothing left to offer the man except what little remains of her stump. But he uses the tree one last time as a chair, and the tree is happy.

Really!?!?!

I hate this book because it’s not a story of love and friendship. It’s not even a story about giving, as the title implies. The Giving Tree is actually a really sick tale of a horribly dysfunctional relationship. For kids.

No, thank you. If my kids are going to learn about dysfunctional relationships, it’s going to be the old-fashioned way: by watching inappropriate movies and television shows, and by the example set by their dad and me.